My manager is stressing me out

Workplace stress is a common challenge, and when employees say, “My manager is stressing me out,” it often signals deeper issues in leadership styles that affect the entire organisation. Fear-based management, where leaders operate from a place of control and anxiety, doesn’t just harm employee wellbeing, it also impacts productivity and drives up sickness absence levels.

At Verve Healthcare, we believe that workplace wellbeing is not just the right thing to do, it also makes good business sense. In this episode of our Unlocking Workplace Wellbeing podcast, Verve CEO Steven Pink spoke with leadership coach Mariann Marthinussen about how managers can shift from fear-based leadership to trust-based leadership.

Fear-based leadership and its hidden costs

Steven opens with a startling statistic: one in four UK managers leads through fear and this approach is costing UK businesses in sickness absence every year.

It’s from a study of 2,500 emerging leaders led by researcher Margot Faraci, 1,000 of whom were in the uk. She showed (23%) of UK leaders are unconsciously creating an environment of fear with direct reports.

It’s a type of destructive leadership that has an impact on staff health, as researchers from York St John University described. Their deep-dive into surrounding research collates a wealth of study showing the negative impact of toxic leadership – behaviours they describe as manipulation, coercion, hostility, and abuse of power. For example, a study into ‘

petty tyranny

’ that shows employees working under toxic leaders often experience higher levels of stress, anxiety, and burnout.
But what does it mean to lead through fear? As Mariann explains, fear in management can stem from feelings of insecurity, overwhelm, and uncertainty. These emotions can manifest as micromanagement, excessive control, or an inability to delegate effectively.
Interestingly, many managers don’t even realise they’re leading this way. “You need to take the time to self-reflect,” says Mariann . “Not just on your performance but on who you are and who you want to be as a leader.” Without this self-awareness, managers may unintentionally create environments where employees feel anxious and stifled, leading to increased stress and higher rates of absence.
Fear-based leadership doesn’t just affect the individual, it ripples through teams and organisations. Employees working under such conditions often feel unable to express themselves or take creative risks. The result? Reduced innovation, lower morale, and a workplace culture that prioritises control over collaboration.
It’s not always easy for managers to recognise when they’re leading through fear. However, there are some tell-tale signs:
A tendency to micromanage tasks rather than trusting team members
Difficulty delegating meaningful responsibilities
A focus on perfectionism
Hesitation to admit mistakes or show vulnerability
A noticeable reluctance among team members to share ideas or admit errors
Mariann points out these behaviours are often rooted in a desire for control, a hallmark of fear-driven leadership. She explains: “Every time we’re trying to hold on to control, we are in fear.” Recognising these patterns is the first step toward creating healthier management practices.
The good news is that managers can shift from fear-based leadership to trust-based leadership with intentional effort and self-awareness. Trust-based leadership creates psychological safety, encourages creativity, and reduces workplace anxiety, all essential for a healthy, happy and productive workforce.
So how can managers make this shift? Mariann offers several practical strategies: Admit mistakes openly
: Acknowledging errors shows honesty and builds trust within teams. “People will trust people who are honest,” she says.
Create space for learning
: Frame mistakes as experiences, opportunities for growth rather than failures. This approach reduces anxiety around perfectionism and encourages innovation.
Ask supportive questions
: Simple questions like “How are you today?” or “What do you need from me?” help open lines of communication and demonstrate genuine care for employees’ wellbeing.
Use candour wisely
: Leaders who are comfortable with and learn their experiences create an atmosphere of openness and psychological safety.
Reflect on personal fears
: Self-awareness is key. Managers must identify their own insecurities, whether it’s the fear of not meeting targets or losing control, and address them directly.
Focusing on these behaviours can enable managers to create environments where employees feel valued and supported rather than controlled or criticised.
Steven and Mariann discussed HR professionals play a hugely important role in helping organisations transition away from fear-based management practices. Providing resources and creating systems that promote trust-based leadership can drive meaningful change across teams and departments.
Mariann offers some interventions that may help: Offer coaching programmes
: Leadership coaching helps managers develop self-awareness and refine their approach to leading teams effectively.
Provide training opportunities
: Courses focused on trust-building skills can equip managers with the tools they need to lead with confidence.
Conduct psychological safety surveys
: Regular assessments can help identify areas where employees feel unsafe or unsupported.
Encourage mentoring relationships
: Pairing managers with mentors allows them to learn from others who have successfully navigated similar challenges.
Promote a culture of openness
: Encourage leaders to be honest about their struggles without fear of judgement, creating an environment where vulnerability is seen as a strength rather than a weakness.
As Mariann suggests, HR should aim to create spaces where self-reflection is encouraged without criticism: “Be brutally honest… Have a culture where you can be self-reflective without criticism,” she says. This approach not only supports individual leaders but also strengthens organisational wellbeing as a whole.

Why workplace wellbeing matters

At Verve Healthcare, we believe proactive workplace healthcare can reduce sickness absence while supporting happier, healthier and more productive teams. Addressing fear-based management is one essential step toward achieving this goal.

When organisations prioritise trust-based leadership alongside broader wellbeing initiatives, such as access to mental health support or private GP services, they create environments where employees can thrive both personally and professionally.

If you’re saying “my manager is stressing me out” within your organisation, it’s time for change. At Verve Healthcare, we offer tailored solutions designed to support workplace wellbeing, including mental health services, private GP and physiotherapy.

Let us help you create a healthier environment where trust drives success instead of fear. Get in touch today to learn more about our services and take the first step toward building a workplace where everyone thrives.

Find the Unlocking Workplace Wellbeing podcast wherever you listen to podcasts:

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